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DECEMBER 12, 2003 – Listen, I’m
trying to keep costs down.
Sure, we are the top all-original
moderate independent news source on the web, and we are growing like
a muscle on a steroid-injected body. In fact, our readership has
been rocketing again since we asked you, following the turkey
fiasco, to spread the word so we can have a useful news source
accepted as part of the mainstream.
Yet still, as the top manager here I try
to keep costs down.
You see, our policy is to only talk when
we have something important or necessary to say. Unlike other news
sources, we don’t feel the need to give you fifteen stories every
day regardless of whether there is worthy news or not. In fact, we
pass over stories that the rest of the press covers adequately. Why
would the world need another news source competing for you to come
read the same damn story everyone else is adequately covering?
No, we don’t want to waste your time and
we won’t waste our money. There is so much not being covered or
being covered usefully that we keep our attention and resources
there.
But come on, people in the rest of the
press. If you don’t do your job at some point we will have to go
begging for a Soros-like sugar daddy to bring on even more staff to
keep up with all the stories you are either screwing up or not
reporting at all.
I mean, look at this all:
President Bush argues, in defense of his
decision to bar non-coalition countries from bidding on rebuilding
contracts, that since it, “is American tax-payer money, the American
tax payers understand this.” That is a lie, all of you know it.
It is not American tax-payer money
only. The President just made a round of demanding the world chip
in – remember – garnering some billions from the likes of Canada,
France, Germany – in addition to billions more in debt-forgiveness
from Russia and others.
So here the President demanded everyone
give us billions for rebuilding, but now says we will keep it all
only for ourselves, and, not only is it right to, but that “it is
American tax-payer money.” It is not. It is money from many
countries, including non-coalition countries.
So tell me, show me the quote, which
news source – any of the 1 million out there – pointed out, simply,
that the President lied? Yes, lied. Inescapably, undeniably, lied.
Which one?
Right, none did, so now I have to write
another damn column to fill in the void.
Or how about them giving Neil Bush and
both his exploitative financial and sexual escapades a free pass?
What are we talking about? You know,
the big story, as reported by Business Week (link:
A Bush In Hand Is Worth... A Lot) and some other sources but
only briefly in passing. Remember how Roger Clinton became a
scandalous household name over essentially nothing? Well Neil Bush
was given – by the son of the former Chinese President – a $2
million position on the board of a high-tech company to serve a
function Neil, by his own admission, knew nothing about.
$2 million given to Neil Bush by Grace
Semiconductor Manufacturing to… well, even the company can’t quite
figure out what they have him doing for all this money. Now, there
was the fact that they needed “permits this year to import sensitive
equipment from the U.S. used to etch silicon wafers,” which, after
giving Neil the $2 million dollar contract to do… they’re not quite
sure what… guess what? Yep, they miraculously got the permits.
But that’s not news for the rest of the
press. Roger Clinton getting a DUI was, but this isn’t. And you
know what else isn’t? Neil Bush admitting he had been banging
numerous, anonymous Asian women who had appeared at his door at
random behind his wife’s back.
You mean you haven’t heard of that
story? Just like you probably never heard the reality that Newt
Gingrich resigned not because the Republicans did poorly in the 1996
elections, but because all the while he was running a campaign
against Clinton’s Lewinsky affair, Gingrich was banging an aid of
his own behind his wife’s back.
Oops, that didn’t make the press either,
did it? Sounds like the sort of story they love, Gingrich should
have had to eat crow and spill the details.
Neil Bush did spill the details during
his recent divorce trial: “I had had sexual intercourse with
perhaps three or four - I don't remember the exact number - women at
different times." (Yahoo News link:
Neil Bush Admits Asian Flings)
Now, thank Yahoo News for being nice
enough to report this, so it seemed like I wouldn’t have to waste my
staff’s time writing about this, but they, politely – as only
Bush/Limbaugh Republicans are treated in the press, politely - omit the
details.
Neil Bush had sex on several occasions
with anonymous Asian women who would appear at his door at random.
He claimed he had no idea who sent them and no idea if they had been
prostitutes.
Weird, huh? Well, that’s what the judge
asked Neil. “Isn’t that odd?”
And Neil’s response? “Yes, I thought it
was.”
Now to keep things straight, he still
banged them. He is admitting on more than one occasion, while
married, he would be off on business and unknown Asian women would
at random just somehow appear at his door and want to have sex. He
had no idea who sent them or if they were prostitutes. He went
ahead and had sex with all of them anyway.
Roger Clinton got a DUI. Loads of
coverage. Saves us the work.
But Neil Bush, who already had cost the
US $1 billion dollars with his involvement back in the 1980’s in the
massive Savings and Loan scandal, now both “oddly” bangs several
random, anonymous Asian women behind his wife’s back and gets $2
million from a former Chinese President’s son for doing no work
anyone can figure – just to be there as, coincidentally, some hard to
get, usually long-time-in-coming permits suddenly appear, no red
tape, for the company paying him – and you people making up the rest
of the press; you thousands upon thousands of people that make up
the non-M/I press, with your billions upon billions of dollars in
budgets, leave it to us at The Moderate Independent to cover this,
since you refuse to?
Or how about Schwarzenegger. Again,
clear and simple stuff to report.
He said he would, first thing after
being elected, do a comprehensive audit of the entire state budget,
and that is how he would balance the budget, by eliminating the
unnecessary spending that audit would find. “California is spending
$29 million per day more than it takes in. Now, here is my plan:
audit everything, open the books, and then we end the crazy deficit
spending,” said Schwarzenegger in his campaign ad titled “Fiscal.”
It was an ad – there is video footage
showing him say this. But he didn’t just say it there, he said it
100 times. "One of the first things we have to do is audit. Open up
the books and let the people look inside. Let the sun shine in.”
(CBS News link:
Gov. Arnold: Scene II)
So he gets into office and what
happens? You guessed it: “There are currently no plans for an
audit with the scope, thoroughness, independence and public rollout
the governor promised voters.” (California State Senate Republican
Caucus link:
Daily Briefing For November 20, 2003)
He also promised NBC’s Tom Brokaw on live TV
he would address each of the harassment allegations leveled against him in detail after the
elections.
He lied. Not gonna do it.
He then said he would investigate
himself, entertaining us with the ridiculousness of this idea, but,
as luck would have it, also lying again – he has since called off
that investigation as “unnecessary.”
He said he would balance the budget
without all the borrowing Davis was doing without cutting education
or other vital spending and without raising taxes. Yes, he lied. He is
borrowing more than Davis did, increased the deficit so far, and
found not much that is actually wasteful.
I mean, all the rest of you guys out
there would have to do is run the headline, “President Bush Lies In
Response To Questions About Rebuilding Contract Policy,” or,
“Schwarzenegger Caught Lying, And Lying, And Lying, And, Yes, Lying," or,
“Neil Bush Finds It ‘Odd’ That He Banged Numerous Asian Chicks Behind
Wife’s Back,” or, “Asia Hands Neil Bush $2 Million Dollars And Lots
Of Bush For Being A Bush.”
Wait, that’s the headline we’re writing
– while I could be off golfing.
Dammit ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, every paper
out there. Damn you all. How will I ever beat Betsy Vasquez at
golf if I never get time to practice because I am here making up for
your inadequacy?
Ah hell. At least its good for our
readership. But really, guys and gals, you realize if you don’t
start doing your job better out there we will soon overtake you and
you’ll have to come apply for a job with The Moderate Independent.
AND, I absolutely will hold against you, when reviewing your
resumes, each day I couldn’t practice my 5-iron because I had to be
here doing your job for you.
Of course, it seems Russia may be hiring
more of their old-style puppet reporters as they head back in time
toward being Soviet-like again, so you may be able to find work, but
I’ve been to Russia, and it is extremely, extremely cold there – and
people drive very drunk and very badly.
So get to work!
Ah, screw it, just
start reading M/I and learn what news is supposed to be. |
