CARTER ECSTATIC, FINALLY FREED OF 'WORST PRESIDENT EVER' LABEL

Former Horrible President Thankful Bush's Reign Will Leave Him Just Some Sucky Ex-President

GAINESVILLE, GEORGIA - Sitting with his feet up, a Billy Beer in one hand, a huge bag of freshly picked peanuts in the other, former 'Worst President Ever' Jimmy Carter's always enormous smile doubled in size today. "I never thought the American people could vote dumber than when they picked me, Rosalyn, and Billy to run things. But hell, electing Bush makes my doing nothing about the hostages in Iran look brilliant."

Having spent the last two decades terrified his disastrous lack of economic skills, coupled with assinine world policy ineptitude, would forever earn him a place in history books and trivia games as the official biggest White House loser ever, Pres. Carter was openly giddy. "I may be remembered for my big teeth, but my policies will disappear into the general mass of Presidential dumbness, my idiocy eclipsed by President Bush's Rush Limbaugh-like reign."

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All Vol.1 Issue 1:

Editorial - The Idea Of A "Moderate Independent" News Source

Historical - The History Of The 1^st Amendment

Media Watch - AM Radio Host Debate A Disaster.  Moderator Baffled About How To Proceed As All 4,293 Participants Give Answers To All Questions

World - Fashion Critics Doubt Lula's New Look For Real

Poll - Thoughts About The War

News:

Schwarzenegger: "I'll Make Bush Seem Like Mother Teresa"

Dick, Bush, And Colin - Fifth Graders, World-Leaders Laugh Hysterically At Leaders' Combined Name Humor

Carter Ecstatic, Finally Freed Of 'Worst President Ever' Label - Former Horrible President Thankful Bush's Reign Will Leave Him Just Some Sucky Ex-President

New "Independent" Beings Discovered - Oddly Unaffiliated Humans Said To Exist In Large Numbers

Bush Thanks Dad For Creating Osama, Saddam