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June 2, 2003 - London - Seeking to further expand his territorial grab,
General Commander of the Axis of Murdoch, Rupert Murdoch, met with the leaders
of the countries he now owns and operates.
"Did anyone ever wonder why Australia went to war in Iraq with us?" asked
Operation Iraq for Murdoch leader General Tommy Franks. "I mean, of all
the countries in the world, why did Australia join Britain and the U.S. in
rushing, against world opinion, to fight the war in Iraq there? It was
because of one simple thing: Murdoch, who owns almost all of the
American media, which talked us into rushing to war, also owns most of the media
in his home country of Australia. Wherever his propaganda machine exists,
people were moved to rush to war."
Asked about Britain's role, Franks said, "Murdoch has some sway with the media
there, but really Britain only went along because their strength depends on how
closely Blair keeps his lips to our President's ass. Blair hated to have
to do it, but honestly, what else could he have done that wouldn't have left
Britons realizing they were an inconsequential, pasty bunch of world-affairs
has-beens."
Australia, on the other hand, is another story entirely.
"They (the Australian people) never have been consequential in world affairs,
and don't really care. They had no business being involved in any way, and
really had nothing significant to contribute militarily. They were only
involved because Puppeteer-in-Chief Murdoch had his media outlets tell them
that's what they wanted to do."
Murdoch used his U.S. media assets - Fox News Channel, USA Today, NY Post,
Chicago Sun Times, Fox Network, and countless others - to get America to fight
on his behalf. "I
have my agenda," said Murdoch, "and the rest of the world has theirs. But
thanks to my massive media holdings, I can convince the world - or at least the
people of the U.S. and Australia - that what I want is what is manly and
patriotic and an immediately pressing priority."
Frustrated by his failure to snow to British people, Murdoch still took pride in
having had Prime Minister Blair's rubber stamp support.
"Tony was just sort of a bonus - extra pay-off from my Fox News holdings, I
consider it." Now
officially named the Axis of Murdoch, the United States, Britain, and Australia
are, "on a non-ending mission to secure whatever assets I tell them to," said
the News Corp. owning media mogul.
As for what's next on the agenda of the Axis powers, Murdoch offered but a brief
glimpse. "Two things
I can say. One, I will take fuller control of the media by getting the
U.S. Congress to allow me to own higher and higher percentages - they will vote
on June 2 (see
Washington Post article), as a matter of fact, to give me even more control.
"Then," he continued, "I will march my legions onto Iran."
Why he will do this he was not so clear about, but did give a cryptic,
Sphinx-like answer.
"I have an ultimate goal in mind. It has to do with liberating my wife,
Wendy Deng's, former homeland."
General Franks spilled more of the beans. "He wants us to take control of
the oil, so we can be in shape to liberate China from the communists. He
has that young, Chinese wife, Wendy Deng, and he himself is lost in a sort of
cold war anti-Communist paranoia. So basically, he uses everything at his
disposal to push his out-dated, Cold War political agenda."
"Hey, Americans buy it," added Franks. "As long as Americans let this
Aussie tell them what is 'patriotic' and what is 'un-American', Murdoch's
koala-brained agenda will continue to govern our nation and spread the Axis of
Murdoch's wrath around the world." |
