JAN 16 - 31, 2004




We Would Satirize Their Debate And Post-Debate Coverage, But They Are So Absurd At This Point They Are Their Own Self-Parody

by John S. Ashton


JANUARY 23, 2003 – It's one thing for right-wing puppet station FOX News, owned by Australian-born Rupert Murdoch and his China-born wife Wendy Deng, to become so pathetic in its flat out biased manipulation that it is completely predictable.  So predictable that we were able, two days before last night's debate hosted by their network, to write what they would do as if it were a cliche sitcom script and not a supposed news broadcast.

We wrote in this article on January 21:

"We know what to expect, we have seen it twice already this year.  They will be sure to work in the same two dishonest smears that they are echoing on talk radio.  They will instigate to try and get Clark angry and infighting, and insult him directly by citing the lying smears they have been echoing for over a week now as “conventional wisdom.”  And after the debate they will do their “analysis,” repeating the same lying talking points and casting as much doubt on Clark as possible, while talking nicely about Kerry and Edwards – more so in praise of Kerry at this point since New Hampshire is what’s next."

And, exactly as we knew these pathetically bought-and-sold, RNC-controlled puppets would do, every "question" they threw at Clark was one of the talk radio lies of the week.  And then, after the debate, when they did their "analysis," they determined, exactly as we said they would, that Kerry won, and, imagine this, not only did they try and smear Clark by saying he did poorly, they said flat out, "Clark is last."  Yes, even behind Kucinich.

In case anyone doubted our intel on the right-wing's strategy as told in the above January 21 article, I think you see it clearly proven now.

So comical even Saturday Night Live wouldn't put it in a skit because they would think it too extreme a caricature.  Behind Kucinich - and because he said Mike Moore had a right to say what he wanted - you know, it being America, the land of free speech, and all.

They must have some really, really well-padded chairs on the FOX Take-It-Up-The-Ass-From-The-GOP-Channel.  If there were a single testicle on any of the males or a single ounce of self-respect or basic American integrity and independence among any of FOX's staff they would... well, I guess obviously not work for FOX in the first place.

Which also brings us to the second band of castrated clowns, the Democratic Party leadership who set up yet another debate with FOX.

Wait, suddenly I see it all coming together - a marriage made in heaven.  "Eunuchs find love with each other - FOX News staff marries the DNC," next on Jerry Springer.

It was absolutely hysterical, and great fun.

"Really, Kucinich did better than General Clark?"

I mean Rupert must have stolen some of Rush's oxycontin, because no sober person would fail to realize having your anchors say something like that is like asking them to do the show with doody smeared on their faces - and, even worse, expecting people to take them seriously.

What humiliation.  What complete degradation of his staff.  To make them not just subtly insinuate that Clark had a questionable performance or something, but to flat out make them say he finished worst of the worst of the worst, and all because he let Moore say something accurate and honest.

And for those of you out there in Naiveté Land who only thought it was FOX News and Rush Limbaugh who were right-wing biased and not the rest of the press, you now have your doubts answered.  Jennings was no better, and several of the major outlets took Clark to task for not repudiating Moore's comments, the most childish, un-American charge that could be made.

"General Clark, someone said something honest and accurate that the Republicans didn't like.  Why didn't you scold him for it?"

"He has a right to speak."

"Aha!  Did you see that America?  General Clark said Americans should have a right to say honest things!  Proof he is not going to be liked by the non-M/I media - and doesn't take it up the butt from the GOP elephant like we all do.  How can you, in good conscience America, vote for somebody who stands up for American values rather than bending over for elephant dick?"

Hmm.  I'm not sure, but I'll figure it out at some point.  Thanks for the concern guys.

Anyway, what should be made of the debate?  Who was the "winner"?  Did anyone do damage, score points.

This debate didn't do much.  Everyone was nice to each other.  The moderators were ridiculous.  No one screwed up badly - in fact, it was clear they were all playing it very safely, just wanting to not screw up.

There were only two stand out things.

One, Al Sharpton is still the only Democrat who understands what a debate is and how to take advantage of it.  It is not a quiz at school.  Bring a joke or two, be pleasant and entertaining.

Two, Edwards' shining moment doing exactly what we said the candidates had to do - calling the pathetic, right-wing talking-point-throwing moderators pathetic talking-point-throwing moderators.  He did it in excellent fashion, too, without taking them on directly or lashing out angrily but instead making it a moral issue - that their pathetic attack questions were, directly, as he put it, a slight and affront to tens of millions of good Americans living in poverty.

That moment moved Edwards up, at least in our minds.  Call him short on defense credentials, he showed he knows what the issue is this election and, just as importantly, how to deal with it in a truly effective manner.

Clark in particular - as we knew he would be - was given nothing but dishonest smear questions.  But he should have been prepared and had the Edwards moment or something similar.

Still, he came across well enough, as did everyone else - except Dean.  Dean did nothing to salvage himself, and of all the people on the stage, he was the most desperately in need.  He is in complete plummet mode, and he won't be rebounding any time soon.

So, where does the race stand after the debate?  Almost exactly where it did before but a little different.

Kerry didn't gain - maybe bored the interest out of some people, but probably will hold about where he is.  He did have a stand out moment in our eyes when he talked of a smear attack he said he knew was about to be launched on him by the Bush/Limbaughians.  Shows at least he is aware of the topic, has his eye on it, and takes it on proactively.  But it didn't play like the Edwards moment did, so he won't gain much from it.

Clark is the beneficiary of some good timing.  The polls coming out today confirm his move into second place.  Coming right after the debate this will sound very good.  And in any case, it keeps him within striking distance of Kerry and with no one in between them to think about.

Dean is done.

Edwards will gain a few more.

Which, all in all, keeps our prognostication pretty much in line.  Four days to go, it is a three man race - no, don't include Dean (didn't you hear us say that months ago?)  It is essentially the Kerry vs. Clark match up we predicted on December 22, with, thanks to his Moderate Independent-like performance in the debate, Edwards moving up into a near-competitive third place.

And FOX News moving to the forefront of entirely predictable, frothing at the mouth partisan insanity.  Biased?  No, too tame.  Completely, utterly, and absurdly delusional.

Oh yeah, almost forgot.  After asserting that Clark had finished in dead last, behind Kucinich, they cut to a commercial break with FOX News Sunday host Chris Wallace getting in, as they faded out, "We'll be back with more FOX News 'Fair and Balanced' Coverage."

I do believe the man doth protest too much - then again, who wouldn't if you had to live with an entire elephant's penis firmly pinned up your ass at all times.

And the main thing to note - these FOX News staffers are not only willing to take it hard from the GOP, but, in doing so, to stick it to America, working to maintain the destructive Bush/Limbaugh hold on power, willing to sink beyond all depths of amorality to accomplish this.  I guess it's time we bought this Australian/Chinese-owned station some hammer and sickle flags - and some Preparation H.






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