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February 9,
2007 – She said she was just walking the dog, but The Moderate
Independent has learned that First Lady Laura Bush and First Dog
Barney were actually on their way out for good.
Sick of being surrounded by people who
kiss his ass, now-humbled American President George W. Bush has
decided he wants a woman who, "kicks his ass."
This new love affair between President
Bush and new house speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) became public today
as the White House, completely out of character and without cause,
came to the defense of the most liberal Democrat in the Senate.
Pelosi had been under fire for
asking for a larger plane than previous House Speaker Dennis Hastert
had used. Republicans derided her request as extravagance.
But rather than piling on, ex-Fox News
host and current White House Spokesperson Tony Snow said today, "The
President wants to give Nancy, 'The Big One.'"
Asked by a reporter why the President is
defending Pelosi's choice of the expensive, what some would call
extravagant, C-32 transport plane, Snow responded, "Plane?"
Another reporter followed up, "Is the
President trying to set a more bipartisan tone by publicly defending
Speaker Pelosi's choice of aircraft?"
Snow looked confused.
"Plane? Aircraft?," mused Snow.
"I don't know what you all are talking about. All I know is
that the President wants to publicly say that he wants to see Nancy
get 'The Big One.'"
A comparison was made by one reporter to
the smaller commuter plane, a C-20, that former Speaker Hastert had
used, to which Snow responded, "Hastert may have had a smaller one -
maybe that's why he couldn't hold power. But the President has
what it takes to lead, and he wants to be sure Speaker Pelosi
understands his determination that she get 'The Big One,' and that
it gets delivered soon and often - whenever she's has 'The Need.'"
Snow was likely referring to Pentagon
comments that Nancy should request a plane when she had travel
needs.
"It's a matter of security," Snow said
in closing. "Those little ones..." Snow smirked.
"Well, let's just say a lady shouldn't trust something that can't
get her all the way there. To really 'bring her all the way
home,' a smaller one would have to stop to... refuel... and you
know, sometimes its just tough to get 'er up and flying again.
With "The Big One," Nancy's guaranteed to go straight there, no
stops needed, every single time."
Pelosi's office first refused comment,
but then said the Speaker found the President's words, "...somewhat
intriguing."
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